1. They’ve seen it all: there’s nothing you can do that would shock an old person. They’ve already done and seen everything and that’s why it’s easier to confess your darkest secrets to a grandparent rather than your own parents. This is true of most older people, they’ve smoked, ran away, gambled, drunk and fought with a complete stranger at least once in their lives.
2. They speak the truth: being old gives you a green card to say or do whatever you want, whenever you feel like it without people getting mad at you and that’s why your grandpa will probably curse at you if you don’t get him that cup of water (he asked for 2 seconds ago), rather than give you the “mean look”.
3. They tell the funniest stories: grannies aren’t really your type of crowd, but when it comes to storytelling, boy do they keep us entertained. They enlighten you with their knowledge, they encourage you with their experience and they amuse you with their sense of adventure and that’s why you can never have enough of their stories (even when you’ve heard them a couple hundred times).
4. They're full of surprises: a few months ago I read this article in the paper (The Daily Mail) about a 75 year old woman beating a thief twice her size at a 7-11 store, for robbing the counter. The feisty granny reached for the price scanner and scared off the thug before he could steal anything. Only a 75 year old would do that, if she were younger, she definitely would’ve thought about it a zillion times first.
5. They know it’s never too late: whether they say it or prove it, there’s no such thing as too late. I know old people who learn how to drive in their late 60’s and this kind of people is very rare. The kind that values time and appreciates what’s left of it, instead of wasting precious moments wondering “what if”.
6. They aren’t afraid of the Police: the elderly seriously do not care when it comes to fashion, they think stockings wrinkled down at your ankles and pants hanging right below your chin are “neat”. When you get older, you stop caring about what people think of you simply because the ones you really love, will love you no matter what. Fashion Police to them is probably a sitcom on ABC.
7. They smell funny: old men especially have a distinct smell. I'm not sure if it’s the aroma of old spice, or moth balls but they mix together well and leave grandpa smelling unique (sometimes there’s a hint of fart in the background too).
8. They drive slowly: old people driving at “walking speed” are one of the main reasons for traffic congestion. It’s obnoxious and it pisses us off but come to think about it, this person driving has few worries to make him rush to where he has to be, in another words: Relaxation.
9. Lipstick stains: elderly women tend to think lipstick doesn’t stain. They squeeze till your ears pop; they choke you a little with their soft, wrinkly arms around your neck, and then give you a huge kiss on the cheek, staining your face with a giant, red lip shape. You love the emotion that comes with that kiss but you hate the stain, which is cool because the stain will come off but the emotion, you’ll carry forever.
10. They make the holidays worthwhile: whether your granny gives you hard candy, old gum that was stuck at the bottom of her purse, or $10 you simply cherish this gift because you can see in her eyes that she would give you everything she ever owned, only if she could.
Old people, as disrespected as they have become, are the reason why we’re who we are today. Old people, as cranky and needy as they may be, are the reason why you want to be better to impress them. Old people, are the foundation of the next generation, so don’t go taking advice from your besties while you have a treasure living next door. Remember, they’re old, they’re going to die soon, and you’ll miss every moment you wasted not telling them how much you cared about them! Go on, grab that phone and tell your grandparents how much you’re proud to have them.
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