- Walk into any doctor’s office around the country and chances are that you'll be the one in the hot seat. In fact, you probably assume that it's your M.D.’s responsibility to ask the questions, and it's your job to answer them. But your health—indeed, your very life—might depend on whether you ask a few key questions of your own.
Friday, May 31, 2013
45 ml olive oil
1 medium onion
400 g chicken fillet
2 cloves of garlic
1 green chili
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp turmeric
½ tsp ground cumin
¼ tsp ground coriander
1 tsp tomato purée
1 tsp curry paste
30 ml double cream
Preparation:
- Chop a medium sized onion
- Crush 2 cloves of garlic with the side of a knife.
- Chop a green chilli.
- Heat a frying pan over a medium heat. Add 3 tablespoons of vegetable oil
- Put the chicken in, and continue to fry for 5 to 6 minutes. The chicken will start to cook, and turn entirely white on the outside.
- Put the garlic and chilli into the pan, and stir. Carry on frying gently over a medium heat, until everything is golden brown.
- Put 1/4 teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric, 1/2 teaspoon of ground cumin and 1/4 teaspoon of ground coriander in the pan. Stir well.
- Add 1 teaspoon of tomato purée, and 1/4 teaspoon of curry paste, Stir, and fold 2 generous tablespoons of double cream into the mixture.
- Serve hot with freshly cooked basmati rice.
This realbuzz.com article aims to give the low-down on
these two potentially life-threatening conditions and suggest ways of
spotting potential problems and getting men away from the ‘head in the
sand’ approach to their health.
While women seems to accept that regular breast screening and smear
tests are a necessary fact of life, men in general still have a
reluctance to get themselves checked over or indeed check themselves
over. But come on fellas, do you really need an excuse to get playing
with yourself? Seriously though, testicular and prostate cancer can be killers, but the good news is they are nearly always curable provided they are spotted early enough.
So what is testicular cancer and what are the signs to look out for?
Testicular cancer affects the testes and is the most common cancer among young men between the ages the ages of 19 and 44, so it’s certainly not something to be written off as a disease that will only affect you in later life. The chances of the average man developing testicular cancer is approximately one in 450.Several high profile characters such as Lance Armstrong — who made a full recovery and went on to win the Tour de France several times — have proved that being diagnosed with testicular cancer is most definitely not a death sentence.
Causes and prevention of testicular cancer
The causes of testicular cancer are unknown, although there is a suggestion that it may be hereditary, so if you have a close male relative who has had testicular cancer, then your chances of getting it are increased greatly, possibly by as much as 10 times. Also men who had an undescended or partly descended testicle are also considered five times more likely to develop testicular cancer.Research suggests that getting off your backside and taking regular exercise may prevent testicular cancer from developing, but until more is known, the only real advice is to check your testicles regularly, so there’s an excuse to get playing with your balls!
Check your testicles at least once a month using your fingers and thumbs to look for any changes in shape, size, consistency and smoothness. If one testicle is larger or hangs lower than the other, don’t panic, that is quite common. Self-examination is best done after a bath or shower when the scrotum is relaxed.
Ignoring these checks is not an option, nor is ignoring anything that you find. If you discover anything unusual — such as any lumps, enlargement of the testes, feelings of pain or discomfort in the scrotum or groin — make sure you see your doctor. Try not to be embarrassed, after all, the doctor has seen it all before! They key to it all is regular checks and acting quickly on anything you (or maybe even your partner!) find.
So what is prostate cancer and what are the signs to look out for?
Unlike testicular cancer, which can affect young men, prostate cancer largely affects men over the age of 50. It is the most common form of cancer in men.The causes of prostate cancer are not fully understood yet, but there is a school of thought that a high-fat, high-meat, low-vegetable diet can contribute greatly to the risks of developing the disease. Hereditary factors are also thought to play a part, so, anyone with a strong family history of prostate cancer is considered at greater risk.
Prostate cancer often doesn't cause symptoms in its early stages, but common signs can include difficulty in urinating, a weak stream of urine, urinating more frequently, pain while urinating, blood in the urine, and pain or stiffness in the lower back, pelvis and hips. It’s fair to say that all these symptoms can be caused by other non-cancerous medical conditions, so don’t panic, but be sure to get checked out.
Preventing prostate cancer
There is no sure-fire way to prevent prostate cancer, but eating a healthy, low-fat diet may help, and the added bonus is, many of the tips also help with preventing heart disease.It’s a fact that prostate cancer rates are highest in countries where people tend to consumer a lot of fat in their diets. A diet high in saturated fats (such as animal fats found in red meat) may pose the greatest risk, so minimize consumption of these and consume more omega-3 rich fish instead.
A diet high in fruits and vegetables has been linked to a lower risk of various kinds of cancer, so will certainly do no harm. Blueberries and tomatoes have been suggested to be particularly helpful in protecting against prostate cancer, as has green tea and cranberry juice, so be sure to include them in your diet.
4 chicken breasts, chopped in cubes
3 c. chicken broth
1 1/2 c. couscous
1 tbsp. chopped fresh parsley
1/2 tsp. thyme
2-3 c. green peas
1/2 green pepper, diced
2 tbsp. raisins
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. olive oil
1 tsp. curry powder
Pinch of ground black pepper
Pinch of red pepper flakes
1/4 c. chopped nuts
Method:
Cook the chopped chiken.
Boil the broth and add the couscous, parsley, and thyme and cook the mixture for 30 seconds. Remove the pan from the heat, cover it and let the couscous stand for 5 minutes.
Steam the peas until just tender and place in a large bowl, add the green pepper, chicken and raisins. Pour the hot couscous over the chicken.
In a separate bowl, combine the lemon juice, curry, oil, black and red pepper. Pour this mixture over the couscous mixture and refrigerate for 1 hour. Sprinkle the salad with nuts before serving.
Think your kids are too young to understand your grown-up conversations? Think again.
"In my practice, parents are constantly shocked by what kids have overheard," says Brad Sachs, PhD, a family psychologist in Columbia, MD and author of The Good Enough Child and The Good Enough Teen.
"But as soon as children can talk, they're listening to what you say," he says.
Kids can be upset and confused by overheard adult conversations. But they may not tell you what they heard -- and you won't even know they're worried.
Before your kid repeats something mortifying in front of your mother-in-law -- or worse -- it's time to start speaking more carefully.
Talking Around the Kids: 6 Things to Avoid
What shouldn't you discuss when little ears could hear?
Fraught topics: Be careful talking with your spouse about big issues -- like financial problems or a family crisis. Your kids are listening. Kids are magnetically drawn toward arguments and emotional discussions, says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, PhD, a psychologist in Princeton, N.J., and coauthor of Smart Parenting for Smart Kids: Nurturing Your Child's True Potential. However, they may not really understand what's going on. Their interpretations may be scarier than what's actually happening.
What to do instead: "If something big is going on in your household, trying to hide it from your kids won't work," says Kennedy-Moore. "Give them the basic facts." The most important detail is how these changes will affect your child.
Trash talk: Are you always criticizing about your child's teacher, your mother, or your ex-husband?
What to do instead: Stop. You're modeling bad behavior for your kids. You may also say something mean about a person your kids care about -- and that can be deeply unsettling for them.
Criticism of your kids: Do you tend to vent about the frustrations of parenthood on the phone? Be careful. "It can be really hurtful if your kids overhear you criticizing them or talking about some mistake they made," says Kennedy-Moore. "They're likely to feel ashamed and then angry."
What you should do instead: Don't get in the habit of complaining about your kids. "Be discreet about your kids' indiscretions," says Kennedy-Moore. Try not to repeat them to others.
Complaining: Adults tend to complain a lot -- especially about their jobs. What's the problem? You're modeling a bad attitude that your kids could apply to school -- or later in life when they have jobs.
What you should do instead: Talk about the positive aspects of your work. "If you worked on an interesting project recently, make sure to mention that," says Kennedy-Moore.
Upsetting world events: "For kids, the world is a small place," says Kennedy-Moore. "They may overhear you talking about the news and assume that burglars are going to be coming to their house, or a tsunami may hit their town."
What you should do instead: You shouldn't shield your kid completely from world events. Just help them put the news in context and reassure them, Kennedy-Moore says.
Swearing: Many adults swear in front of their kids on occasion. Don't overreact when your kids imitate you -- that will just make the words more exciting.
What you should do instead: Try hard not to swear in front of your kids -- and never swear at them, says Kennedy-Moore. If you can't seem to control your profane outbursts, Kennedy-Moore has a suggestion. "Tell your kids to collect a quarter from you every time you swear," she tells WebMD. "They'll like doing that a lot."
Even if you're careful, your kids will wind up overhearing things that they shouldn't. Here are tips on how to handle that when it happens -- as well as suggestions for making it less likely.
Ask what they heard: If you suspect your kids have overheard something, ask them. Tell them that they won't get in trouble if they tell the truth. They probably know that eavesdropping is wrong, so they may not want to reveal it.
Reassure them: Help your kids put what they heard in perspective. If they're upset about an argument you had with your spouse, explain that adults sometimes disagree but that you'll work it out -- and that arguments do not mean you're getting a divorce.
Be proactive: Don't think you can hide something big from your kids -- like losing a job or the illness of a close relative. "Trying to keep kids in the dark about things like that just doesn't work," says Sachs. Instead, level with them in an age-appropriate and reassuring way. You'll spare them a lot of confusion and anxiety later.
Get privacy when you need it: Have something sensitive you need to discuss? Do it somewhere else. Go for a walk. Close the bedroom door for a few minutes. Don't try to whisper or talk in code and hope your kids won't notice.
Allow selective eavesdropping: There is one real benefit to a child's tendency to listen in.
"One of the best ways to praise the child is indirectly," says Kennedy-Moore. "If your child overhears you talking to grandma about how hard she is working in math class, that can really boost the child's self-esteem." Kids are more likely to believe your praise when you're not saying it to them.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Around 25 percent of UK toddlers regularly consume fruit juice while two thirds eat sugary sweets and snacks, the UK's Daily Mail reported.
In Australia, one in four parents feels guilty about their children drinking fruit juice, according to an industry report titled Getting the Guilts: Parents on Kids' Food.
Released in January, the survey found over half the parents said their children drank fruit juice at least three times a week. And of those parents who felt guilty about their children drinking juice, 73 percent attributed this guilt to being unsure whether it was the healthiest choice.
While the 2013 Australian Dietary Guidelines say that a small glass (125ml) of 100 percent fruit juice can contribute to a daily fruit serve, Dr Nigel Carter, chief executive of the British Dental Health Foundation, told the Daily Mail a different story.
"Fruit juices are becoming increasingly popular and the fruit content can make them seem like a good idea," he said.
"However, they contain very high levels of sugar and acid and so can do a lot of damage to the teeth.
"At such a young age it is unrealistic to remove sweet foods and drinks altogether from a child's diet. To combat this, it is important to try to keep their consumption to mealtimes, and ensure they only drink water or milk between meals.
"Bear in mind it is better for the child's teeth and general health if they have three meals a day instead of seven to 10 'snack attacks', many of which will contain sugar."
The warning comes after a study by the Daily Mail found a 500ml serving of Ribena blackcurrant juice contains the same sugar as 13 Oreo biscuits.
So why is it worse to drink juice than eat fruit? Professor Laurence Walsh, head of the School of Dentistry at the University of Queensland, has said it's not just the concentrated sugar that's the problem.
Juices contain acids that can dissolve the enamel of the tooth, leaving the inner parts of teeth exposed, which leads to sensitivity.
"That's why if people drink either large amounts of orange juice or are regular users of soft drink, they start to notice that their teeth get sensitive as the acids dissolve the outside structure of the teeth," Walsh told the ABC.
Making the mouth more acidic also encourages the growth of cavity-causing bacteria.
But juice it is also contributing to weight problems. Fibre is removed in the juicing process, so there is nothing to line the intestine and slow the absorption of sugar, which will turn to fat if not used.
Walsh recommended limiting kids' juice consumption by choosing, 100 percent fruit, no added sugar options and diluting it with water. He also said using a straw will be better for the teeth in the long run.
Weight-loss operations in women could be a genetic bonus for the health of their future children, a new study suggests. Researchers found differences in the activity of genes in children born to women after they'd had gastric bypass surgery compared to their siblings born before surgery. The changes suggest that the kids born after surgery, to thinner mothers, will fare better in terms of heart health because of benefits gained in the womb.
"It appears that there's an effect that is transmitted to the next generation," said study co-author Marie-Claude Vohl, a professor at Laval University in Quebec City. "This may have some consequence later in life for the health of the children."
The study isn't definitive, and researchers don't know exactly how much the health of kids may be affected by being born to a thinner mother. It's also not clear if there's something unique about weight-loss surgery or if the key is to simply drop pounds.
Weight-loss surgery, which aims to limit the amount of food that patients can eat, is no simple matter. It's expensive, involves risk and is not always covered by insurance. However, severe obesity is itself a major health risk.
In the new study, researchers examined the genetic makeup of 50 children who were born to 20 mothers before or after they underwent gastric bypass surgery.
The researchers suspected that the genes of children born after surgery would act differently than those born before. They found several thousand genes that did just that, and the differences in the post-surgery children suggest they're in better shape health-wise.
As far as physical differences, children born to mothers before weight-loss surgery weighed more and had greater waist and hip girth compared to the others. Children born to mothers after weight loss-surgery had better fasting insulin levels and lower blood pressure.
"It's more evidence that the benefits of gastric bypass surgery extend beyond the original aim of weight loss," said Dr. Francesco Rubino, a metabolic and bariatric surgeon with the Catholic University of Rome, who was not involved with the study. Other research has linked weight-loss surgery, in some cases, to major improvements in diabetes.
What's going on? It's not a matter of the mothers transferring different genes to the children based on whether they'd had surgery. Instead, weight-loss surgery seems to affect the activity of the genes in the children's bodies even outside the womb, he said.
Dr. Edward Phillips, vice chair of the department of surgery at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, in Los Angeles, said it's a mystery how that might happen.
"If you're a fetus, you're bathed in a bunch of chemicals and hormones," Phillips said. "But when you're out in the real world, why wouldn't your own genes go back to the basic set of what they were supposed to be?"
Could weight-loss surgery in fathers have a similar effect on their subsequent children? Researchers don't know. There are other questions too. Might the children born after their mothers had surgery be exposed to a different kind of environment than their older siblings, especially in regard to food? Could that affect how their genes act?
Phillips said those questions need to be answered. But, he said, this is still "an exciting early study" that opens the door toward greater understanding of genes and weight.
The study appeared online May 27 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
It also discovered that men are most confident about their physiques at the age of 28, with confidence declining steadily after that. Overall almost three-quarters of the 1,500 men surveyed disliked their bodies.
“Men are changing and so is masculinity. In our younger years, we are still struggling to find our identity and who we are,” said Professor Brendan Gough, a psychologist at Leeds Metropolitan University.
“But when we get into our late 20s and reach 28 we become more comfortable with our bodies and assured about ourselves.”
“When we get into our 30s our metabolism decreases and we start to put on weight.”
So whether you’re body confident or not, which body shape best describes you? Here are the categories, from string beans to snowmen.
It’s a classical triangular shape, featuring broad shoulders that taper to a slim (but often toned) waist. We may admire this shape, but only one in 20 of us see ourselves as nachos.
One famous nacho is Olympic diver Tom Daley.
Far more of us identified ourselves as pears, who are pretty average in every sense but carrying a bit of extra weight round the middle. Among celebs, comedian Michael McIntyre is, apparently, a pear, as is Ricky Gervais (maybe it’s a comedian thing?).
More of us want to be a cucumber than any other shape. It’s the sort of lean (but not skinny) physique boasted by sportsmen such as Andrew Flintoff, the former captain of the England cricket team, and David Beckham, the former captain of the England football team. It’s toned and taut without being pumped up or overly muscle-bound.
According to the survey, 45% of us aspire to this sleek, straight-up-and-down shape - but only 15% of us actually have it.
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. If you’re built like a brick then you’re naturally broad all over. Just over 9% of us identify ourselves as bricks, and it’s not a bad physique to have. Celebrity bricks include housewife's favourite Robbie Williams.
We’re not talking about cherry tomatoes here. Nearly one in 10 of respondents identified themselves as tomato shape, which is slightly chubby all over. Tomatoes aren’t obese - nicely rounded might be a better way of putting it - but they could probably do with losing a bit of weight. You don’t find many natural tomatoes. The TV presenter Eamonn Holmes is a classic of the category.
The happy, jolly and - most of all - fat snowman is a shape fewer than 5% us are prepared to admit to being, according to the survey. The snowman is round in both belly and chest, creating a figure-of-eight body shape. Robbie Coltrane typifies the look, as does fellow thespian James Corden.
At the other extreme comes the string bean, a lean and slender shape that sails dangerously close to skinny. It doesn’t have to though. Sir Bradley Wiggins is considered a string bean and his cycling competitors know just how much power his lean limbs can generate. Apparently only 4.3% of us describe ourselves as having a string bean shape.
So, which category best describes you? Let us know in the comments below. If you’re the typical British male, it’s probably the pear. If you’re a cucumber, count yourself lucky. And the good news is that the lean, straight-up-and-down look most of us aspire to is not out of anyone’s reach. A good diet and plenty of exercise are all many of us need to attain it.
Ingredients- 2 slice(s) whole-wheat sandwich bread, torn into pieces
- 1 tablespoon(s) grated Parmesan cheese
- 1 teaspoon(s) olive oil
- Coarse salt and ground pepper
- 2 tablespoon(s) all-purpose flour
- 1 large egg white
- 4 (6 to 8 ounces each) boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
- 3/4 cup(s) (3 ounces) shredded part-skim mozzarella
- 1 can(s) (28 ounces) whole peeled tomatoes in puree
- 1 clove(s) garlic, minced
Directions
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees, with rack in upper third. Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil; set aside. In a food processor, place bread, Parmesan, oil, and a pinch each salt and pepper. Pulse until coarse crumbs form; transfer to a shallow bowl. Place flour in a second shallow bowl; season with salt and pepper. Place egg white in a third shallow bowl, and beat with a fork until frothy.
- Dip top side of a chicken breast in flour, shaking off excess. Dip same side in egg white, letting excess drip off, then in breadcrumbs, pressing to adhere. (Do not bread other side.) Repeat with remaining chicken and transfer, breaded side up, to prepared baking sheet. Bake until breadcrumbs are crisp and browned, 8 to 10 minutes. Remove from oven; sprinkle with mozzarella. Continue baking until chicken is opaque throughout and cheese is lightly browned, 2 to 4 minutes.
- Meanwhile, in a large skillet, place tomatoes, breaking them up with your fingers. Add garlic; season with salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and cook until sauce has thickened, 6 to 8 minutes. Serve chicken with a generous amount of tomato sauce.
Ingredients- 3 slice(s) white bread, toasted very well
- 1 1/2 tablespoon(s) margarine or butter, melted
- 1/2 cup(s) low-fat buttermilk
- 3 tablespoon(s) light mayonnaise
- 2 tablespoon(s) fresh lemon juice
- 2 tablespoon(s) snipped chives
- 1/4 teaspoon(s) salt
- 1/4 teaspoon(s) pepper
- 2 hearts romaine lettuce, thinly sliced
- 2 stalk(s) celery, thinly sliced
- 8 ounce(s) cooked lobster meat or cooked shelled, deveined shrimp, coarsely chopped
Directions
- Cut bread into 1/2-inch cubes; transfer to large bowl. Drizzle with margarine; toss until well-coated.
- In another large bowl, whisk together buttermilk, mayonnaise, lemon juice, chives, salt, and pepper.
- To bowl with dressing, add lettuce, celery, and lobster. Toss until well-combined. Divide among 4 serving plates. Top with croutons.
Tips & Techniques
Tip: Look for cooked frozen lobster or
buy a 1 1/2-pound steamed lobster and pick the meat yourself. Round out
the meal with a side of oven fries.
Nutritional Information
(per serving)
(per serving)
| Calories | 200 |
| Total Fat | 10g |
| Saturated Fat | 2g |
| Cholesterol | 88mg |
| Sodium | 710mg |
| Total Carbohydrate | 15g |
| Dietary Fiber | 2g |
| Sugars | -- |
| Protein | 14g |
| Calcium |
However, for all the reasons for going veggie – whether its love of animals, religion or economics – there may be some serious benefits that accompany switching from omnivore to herbivore. That’s the argument put forward by the eye-opening documentary Fork Over Knives, which argues that almost all diseases could be avoided if we switch to a plant-only diet.
For Brits – this would be easier said that done. As a nation we currently eat around 76.2kg of meat per year and 131g of red meat a day. Meanwhile, statistics from vegsoc.org show that only 1.8 million of us have gone veggie to some degree. So what do the experts think? MSN Her caught up with nutritionists Claire Harper (thenutritionguide.co.uk) and Kirsten Brooks (eatyourselftohealth.com) to see how our love of meat could be hurting our health, and what you should do to reap the benefits of plant-only eating.
What would it involve?
Not all vegetarians are created equal; some may still eat fish (pescetarians), eggs, cheese and other dairy products, while others do not. ‘Vegan’ means going completely plant-based, which involves giving up all processed foods, and anything animal-based. The documentary Fork Over Knives follows two doctors as they examine Asian cultures where degenerative diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and even many forms of cancer and non-existent.
The obvious link? They are all eating very little to no animal products.
Harper says there may be a great deal of truth to these claims. “The evidence does point to a predominantly plant-based diet being protective against degenerative disease,” she says. “This has been shown time and again in numerous studies. Eating high quantities of plants (fruit, vegetables, legumes, beans) is associated with lower levels of heart disease, obesity, diabetes, kidney stones, cancers, Alzheimer’s and many other conditions.
“However, it is also evident that humans evolved on a diet containing meat and fish. In terms of achieving optimal health, I disagree with the premise of Fork Over Knives that no animal products should be eaten at all, because some are important for good health and vegan alternatives can be poor replacements.”
Brooks adds: “I would agree that often diseases such as heart disease, type-2 diabetes and certain obesity-related conditions can indeed be prevents and sometimes reversed by adopting a healthy, natural, wholefood and largely plant-based diet. However, it would be naïve to suggest that nutrition is the whole answer, as stress, genetics, sedentary lifestyle and toxic environments all play their part.”
What’s so bad about meat?
Most of us have at least a basic understanding of what we’re getting from meat; chicken and fish equals protein, while iron comes from red meat. Too much fatty cuts or junk food like burgers and kebabs, however, and we’re likely to gain weight and risk developing serious illness.
Brooks says: “Meat and dairy are a source of saturated facts. Furthermore, they contain lots of omega-6 fatty acids, an excess (which is very common) promotes inflammatory changes in the body. Given that most health conditions have an underlying low-grade inflammatory component to them, an imbalance in these essential fats can set up the disease process.”
Harper adds: “The argument against eating animal products is the correlation between low incidence of disease and low meat, fish and dairy product intake. Some studies show that decreasing animal protein shows a decrease in the effects of carcinogens in the cells and a decrease in tumor initiation.”
While both of our nutritionists agree with certain aspects of the plant-only clarion call, both are also wary of emptying your fridge of all animal products. This is primarily because being a ‘healthy’ vegan is not as easy as it sounds. Meat and fish do provide us with nutrients that are otherwise hard to come by. Vitamin B12, vitamin D, calcium, iron and zinc are the most common deficiencies seen in a plant-based diet gone wrong, and can lead to weaker bones, memory-loss and low-energy levels.
If you do choose to embark on this plant-only path, Brooks advises you to ensure you do it properly. “Avoid sugary food, ensure carbohydrates come from wholegrain sources (brown rice, oats, and quinoa), that fruit and vegetables figure highly, and eat adequate protein in the form of lentils and pulses,” she says.
“They should also eat nuts and seeds, but I believe they should supplement with fish oil if they are not eating any oily fish, for its Omega-3 content which has numerous health benefits, and have their iron, vitamin B12, calcium and zinc levels checked.”
Harper believes that just because you aren’t eating ‘harmful’ animal products doesn’t mean you’re clear of danger. She says: “I have also seen lots of unhealthy vegetarians and vegans, so I strongly believe if you are going to cut out both meat and dairy, you need to do it sensibly, and with professional guidance. Meat is an excellent source of protein, and contains higher levels of minerals like zinc and iron in more bioavailable forms.
“Be selective with animal products and aim to eat only those that are of high quality, nutritious, un-processed, free from preservatives – just like our ancestors were eating! Grass-fed beef, wild meats like venison, organically fed chicken and eggs, wild Alaskan salmon etcetera, and make up the rest of their diet with lots of lovely plants. Remember that you don’t need to eat meat every day.”
Brooks rounds up by saying: “Ideally meat should be organic to minimise unnecessary chemicals, hormones and antibiotics. Red meat should be minimised to reduce cancer risk, and processed meat like ham and bacon entirely avoided as it has stronger links to cancer and type-2 diabetes.”
So, while eating more plant-based foods seems to be beneficial, don’t rule out meat entirely; just choose more carefully. Forks Over Knives? Yes, but don’t throw away your blades just yet.
If you're avoiding the potentially dangerous short cut routes like steroids, focusing on your nutritional intake will give you more solid, healthier results that you can maintain.
The problem you'll come across is that most of the muscle-building diets are, well, pretty unexciting in terms of what you can eat and what to do with it - so here are some ideas to get you pumping iron.
Beef
Lean proteins have always been a key part of the bodybuilders diet and beef also contains zinc and iron, essential for muscle growth. Beef is also high in creatine which supplies energy to your muscles.
Stir-frying is a great low-fat method of cooking - try frying diced beef fillet with purple sprouting broccoli, spring onion, garlic and chilli in a wok then adding soy sauce, oyster sauce and a splash of stock. Pop a lid on and cook till the broccoli is tender.
Oysters
Like all molluscs, oysters are very high in protein and low in fat as well as being a good source of essential minerals. They are rich in copper, vitamin B12 and iron, all of which are useful for keeping the blood in good order which in turn helps carry oxygen to the muscles.
The classic serving of oysters is with sauce mignotte - diced shallots in vinegar. Try them instead with a Thai-inspired dressing - mix finely shredded ginger and lemongrass with lime juice and some finely chopped coriander. Add a few chilli flakes and spoon into the oysters before adding a final sprinkling of crispy shallots.
Eggs
Aside from their richness in choline which is great for your brain, eggs are also very high in protein that the body can use easily and rapidly.
Soft-boiled eggs are a great addition to a salad - try them halved on a salad of blanched griddled asparagus, torn parma ham, mixed leaves, finely sliced red onion and French dressing with a scattering of toasted flaked almonds. If you can, buy eggs enriched with Omega-3 fatty acids.
Lentils
Lentils are part of the legume family and are a great source of soluble fibre that helps keep blood sugar and energy levels stable. Outside of the animal kingdom, lentils contain a good amount of protein and complex carbohydrate that releases energy slowly - great for extended periods of exercise.
The undisputed king of lentils is the Puy, the French variety, prized for its flavour and texture. They work well both hot and cold; try them cool tossed with balsamic vinegar and olive oil, crumbled feta cheese, walnuts, diced cucumber and finely shredded mint as a fresh side salad to accompany pork or chicken.
Mackerel
This oily fish along with sardines and a host of other fish is rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which help boost insulin levels in the body. The insulin, in turn, helps transport nutrition to the cells in the body and by increasing the function of insulin you increase your body's metabolism.
Ask your fishmonger to fillet the mackerel for you and grill. It pairs well with the earthy flavours of beetroot (high in anti-oxidants) so make up a salad with diced cooked beetroot, sliced celery, toasted pumpkin seeds, finely chopped parsley and a dressing made with orange juice, balsamic vinegar and olive oil and serve alongside your grilled mackerel.
Cashew nuts
All nuts are high in nutrients, polyunsaturated fatty acids, vitamin E, fibre, potassium, folate, magnesium...the list goes on and on. The fat in nuts is considered to be 'good' fat, ie beneficial to the body.
You could choose from a whole host of different nuts to include in your diet such as brazils, almonds, walnuts, macadamias, hazelnuts and peanuts. Try frying chicken pieces in a little groundnut oil till cooked. Add sliced onion, peppers and cook for a minute or two. Add soy sauce, coriander leaves and cashew nuts before serving with rice.
Tomatoes
Tomatoes are rich in lycopene which helps protect muscles from oxidative stress. This is what causes post-workout aches and pains. Lycopene actually becomes more potent through the cooking process - hence the health benefits of ketchup.
A great alternative to a cooked breakfast is to simply roast halved tomatoes with olive oil and sea salt in the oven and then to crush them on grilled sourdough before sprinkling liberally with pepper.
Spelt
This ancient grain is a source of slow-release energy (like most wholegrains such as barley and oatmeal). Spelt flakes are now sold as breakfast cereal in health food shops but you can also buy rolled spelt, which looks very similar to pearl barley.
It can be used to make risotto as a healthier alternative to Arborio rice. Sweat leeks and onion in olive oil before adding the rolled spelt. Let it cook off for a minute before adding vegetable or chicken stock. Stir occasionally and cook for 20 minutes or so till the spelt is done. Add raw shelled prawns, finely grated lemon zest and peas, stirring through, then pop a lid on and leave off the heat for a few minutes before serving.
Vision impairment becomes permanent because as the child’s brain matures, it will "ignore" the image coming from the poorly seeing eye. Without treatment it can lead to a permanent loss of vision in the weak eye.
Diagnosis
All children should be screened before they are school-age. Check three aspects of your child's eye health:
1. Let light all the way through in both the eyes.
2. Both eyes see equally well.
3. The eyes move normally.
Some eye care experts recommend an exam by an eye doctor at 6 months, 3 years, and then every two years in the school years.
Family history of amblyopia is a risk factor for the condition. Parents cannot tell just by looking at their child if they have amblyopia.
Early diagnosis and treatment are the keys to the best visual outcome.
Treatment
Lazy eye can be treated with prescription lenses, prisms, and eye patches, according to the American Optometric Association said. Vision therapy -- when the two eyes are trained to work in unison -- may prevent the problem from coming back. The treatment with eye patches involves the covering of the strong eye with a patch so that the child is forced to use their lazy eye. The child has to wear the patch for much of the day over many months, which can be frustrating and unpleasant.
Recently, Canadian doctors say they have found an inventive way to treat lazy eye - playing the Tetris video game. According to The McGill University team this popular tile-matching puzzle could train both eyes to work together.
Tetris Video Game: a Choice of Treatment
Dr Robert Hess and colleagues in Montreal armed with a special pair of video goggles set up an experiment that would make both eyes work as a team.
The goggles allowed one eye to see only the falling objects, while the other eye could see only the blocks that accumulate on the ground in the game. For comparison, another group of nine volunteers with amblyopia wore similar goggles but had their good eye covered, and watched the whole game through only their lazy eye.
At the end of the two weeks, the group who used both eyes had more improvement in their vision than the patched group. The researchers then let the patched group have a go at using the goggles with both eyes uncovered. Their vision then improved significantly.
It was observed that forcing both eyes to co-operate increases the level of plasticity or adaptability in the brain and allows the weak eye to relearn how to see.
Arrhythmia (palpitations) is a heart rate or rhythm disorder. Irregular heartbeat, including heart beating too fast (tachycardia), too slow or too early is referred to as arrhythmia. If your heart does not beat properly, it cannot pump blood properly. This in turn can create problems in the functioning of lungs, brain and other vital organs. Some types of arrhythmias are very brief. For instance, a temporary pause in the heart beat or premature beat is also a type of arrhythmia, but it may not affect the overall heart rate. If the heart rhythm problem lasts for a long time, it can make your heart pump blood less effectively. Atrial fibrillation is another type that is quite common cardiac arrhythmia wherein the patient experiences irregular heart beat.
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Causes of Arrhythmia
Arrhythmia occurs, when the normal conduction pathway of the heart is interrupted. The heart has rapidly firing cells that make natural pacemaker. When this area develops an abnormal rate, arrhythmia occurs. There is no recognizable cause for this condition. Heart problems may cause arrhythmia. Taking excessive caffeine products, alcohol, tobacco, diet pills, cough medicines and stress may cause this condition. High blood pressure, hyperthyroidism, diabetes and scarring of the heart may cause problems in heart beat.
Arrhythmia problem may be aggravated, if any condition changes the structure of your heart. Reduction in blood supply to the heart can change the ability of heart cells and tissues, which in turn can cause heart rhythm problems. Damaged heart tissue may also lead to arrhythmia development.
Symptoms of Arrhythmia
If the irregular heart beat lasts for a few minutes, there may be no symptoms. It creates a skipped heart beat like feeling, which you may not even notice. A fluttering feel in the neck or chest may be a symptom of mild arrhythmia. If it is severe and lasts for a long period, it shows many arrhythmia symptoms. Atrial flutter is a cardiac arrhythmia where the atrial rate is between 240 and 400 heart beats/ minute. Along with this there is some degree of atrioventricular node conduction block.
• Light headedness is the most obvious symptom of this condition. If it is accompanied by extreme tiredness, it may be fatal.
• Shortness of breath, loss of consciousness and chest pain may be experienced. In serious cases, it can cause heart attack and death.
• Dizziness, confusion, concentration problems, palpitations, fainting and fatigue are the common symptoms of a type of arrhythmia, where heart beats too slowly.
Treatment of Arrhythmia
If your arrhythmia condition is caused by heart disease, treating it can help you get relief from irregular heart beat problems. Drugs are prescribed by the doctor to treat arrhythmia. If the symptoms last for longer period, the doctor may apply electric shock to the chest wall to restore the heart to its normal rate. However, this treatment is used only in emergency situations.
Serious arrhythmias causing problems in the ventricles may be rectified by placing automatic implantable defibrillators surgically inside your chest. Artificial pacemaker may also be placed to make the heart to beat normally. The pacemaker is placed under the skin. Surgery may be required in serious cases. The tissue causing arrhythmia is changed or removed in surgery.
Medication of Arrhythmia
Various medications and stimulants can result in arrhythmia. Some of them are appetite suppressants, caffeine, alcohol, specific asthma medicines, thyroid medicines, etc. Thus, medication given to treat arrhythmia stabilizes the heart beat or treats an overactive thyroid gland as the case may be.
Anti-arrhythmic medications does not treat the problem, rather it just slows down the heart beat when an event occurs. Certain medicines slow the heart more than needed; and in such cases a pacemaker may be needed. Therefore, you must always take medication exactly as per your doctor's advice.
Self-medication of Arrhythmia
• Reducing stress using some relaxation therapy can help prevent arrhythmia.
• Ensure that you get sufficient sleep. Sleeping on your stomach or left side should be avoided.
• You can try to avoid or reduce the intake of hot and spicy foods.
• Quitting smoking is beneficial for your heart.
• Check your blood pressure on a regular basis. Take medications if it is low or high.
• Limit the consumption of caffeine products.
• Taking three ounce of oily fish weekly can help enhance your heart health.
• Diet and lifestyle changes can help prevent arrhythmia. Avoiding saturated fats, trans fats and cholesterol can help prevent heart rhythm problems. You can take fruits, vegetables, whole grain foods, lean meat, low fat dairy products, olive oil, beans and fish. Doing some exercises like brisk walking, bicycling, running and swimming can help to keep your weight under control. It also helps prevent heart diseases.
Alternative treatments of Arrhythmia
Ayurveda has some medications for treating arrhythmias. The practitioner may advice you to take triphala churna with lukewarm water at bed time daily. Some Ayurvedic powders like arjuanarishta, drakshasava, hridayarnava rasa, nagarjunabhra rasa and akik pishti can help enhance your heart health. Taking arrhythmia medicines after consulting an Ayurvedic practitioner can help you get relief from this condition without any side effects.
Cancer refers to a type of disease which is caused by uncontrolled cell growth in the body. There are more than 100 different cancer types, which is distinguished by the kind of cell that is primarily affected. The common types of cancer include lung cancer and cervical cancer. Lung cancer is caused by the abnormality of the cells in the lung, while cervical cancer occurs in the cervix of a woman’s body. Blood cancer affects the bone marrow, leading to unnatural growth of a certain kind of blood cell. While lung cancer and blood cancer may affect men, women and children of all age groups, cervical cancer only occurs in women.
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Causes of Cancer
Cancer is caused by the normal cells of the human body. When the body needs cells, they grow, and when the need is complete, the cells die. Cancer seems to occur when the body creates uncontrollable amount of cells which divide too fast. It may even occur when the cells fail to die. Cancer may develop in any tissue or organ like the lung, cervix, blood, breast, bones, skin, and colon or nerve tissue. The common causes of cancer may be attributed to the following:
• Chemicals like benzene.
• Alcohol.
• Environmental toxins like aflatoxins (a poison growing on peanut plants) or poisonous mushrooms.
• Excessive exposure to sunlight.
• Genetic defects.
• Radiation.
• Obesity.
• Viruses.
Symptoms of Cancer
There are no specific signs or symptoms which exclusively indicate cancer. The symptoms may even be explained by the occurrence of a harmless condition. Furthermore, symptoms vary between the different types of cancer. The common cancer symptoms include:
• Blood in the saliva or persistent cough.
• Change in metabolism.
• Bloody stool.
• Unexplained anemia.
• Breast discharge or lump.
• Testicular lump.
• Change in urination.
• Blood in urine.
• Swollen glands or persistent lump.
• Hoarse voice.
• Distinctive change in a mole or wart.
• Problems with swallowing or indigestion.
• Vaginal discharge or bleeding.
• Unforeseen weight loss or fever.
• Persistent itching in the anus or genitals.
• Headache, backache, bloating, pelvic pain.
Treatment of Cancer
Cancer treatment varies according to the type and stage of the disease. If the disease spreads to a particular area, the most common approach is surgery.
Lung cancer: Lung cancer may be cured with therapy that can be curative (involving eradication) or palliative (which does not cure the cancer, but reduces the pain). Adjuvant therapy is often prescribed, involving radiotherapy or chemotherapy after surgical removal of the tumor. It kills the remaining cells that linger post-surgery. Gefitinib (Iressa) and Erlotinib (Tarceva) are used in patients who are not responding to chemotherapy. The drugs promote cell division by focusing on the epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) protein. Antiangiogenesis drugs like bevacizumab (Avastin) may also be used to block the growth of certain blood cells within the cancer. Cetuximab is used to target the epidermal growth factor receptor.
Cervical cancer: Cervical cancer may be treated by preventing the precancerous cells from becoming cancerous. This is indicated by a Pap smear which examines the cells taken from the cervix. HPV or human papillomavirus tests check the DNA for any abnormality in the cervical cells. Colposcopy may be done for checking any symptoms of cervical cancer. If there is an abnormality, the doctor conducts a biopsy which removes a small amount of tissue. Regular pelvic examinations may even be conducted to ensure the health of the vagina, cervix, rectum, uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes. Carboplatin, Mitomycin, and Docetaxel are the commonly recommended medications.
Blood Cancer: This type of cancer can be treated with chemotherapy which destroys the affected cells by administering anti-cancer drugs such as arsenic trioxide, daunorubicin and idarubicin. Interferon therapy slows down cell reproduction and allows the immune system to build considerable anti-leukemia activity. Stem cell transplantation helps treatment using radiation therapy and chemotherapy. Surgery may be used to eliminate an enlarged spleen or insert a venous access device for withdrawing blood samples or administer medications.
Self-medication of Cancer
Cancer disease may be prevented by making certain lifestyle changes. A healthy diet is a must. You should follow a regular exercising regime and limit your intake of tobacco and alcohol. Maintaining optimum weight is compulsory as is limiting your exposure to toxic chemicals and radiation. A few home remedies to prevent cancer may include intake of broccoli, turmeric, grapes, green tea, and soy.
1. They’ve seen it all: there’s nothing you can do that would shock an old person. They’ve already done and seen everything and that’s why it’s easier to confess your darkest secrets to a grandparent rather than your own parents. This is true of most older people, they’ve smoked, ran away, gambled, drunk and fought with a complete stranger at least once in their lives.
2. They speak the truth: being old gives you a green card to say or do whatever you want, whenever you feel like it without people getting mad at you and that’s why your grandpa will probably curse at you if you don’t get him that cup of water (he asked for 2 seconds ago), rather than give you the “mean look”.
3. They tell the funniest stories: grannies aren’t really your type of crowd, but when it comes to storytelling, boy do they keep us entertained. They enlighten you with their knowledge, they encourage you with their experience and they amuse you with their sense of adventure and that’s why you can never have enough of their stories (even when you’ve heard them a couple hundred times).
4. They're full of surprises: a few months ago I read this article in the paper (The Daily Mail) about a 75 year old woman beating a thief twice her size at a 7-11 store, for robbing the counter. The feisty granny reached for the price scanner and scared off the thug before he could steal anything. Only a 75 year old would do that, if she were younger, she definitely would’ve thought about it a zillion times first.
5. They know it’s never too late: whether they say it or prove it, there’s no such thing as too late. I know old people who learn how to drive in their late 60’s and this kind of people is very rare. The kind that values time and appreciates what’s left of it, instead of wasting precious moments wondering “what if”.
6. They aren’t afraid of the Police: the elderly seriously do not care when it comes to fashion, they think stockings wrinkled down at your ankles and pants hanging right below your chin are “neat”. When you get older, you stop caring about what people think of you simply because the ones you really love, will love you no matter what. Fashion Police to them is probably a sitcom on ABC.
7. They smell funny: old men especially have a distinct smell. I'm not sure if it’s the aroma of old spice, or moth balls but they mix together well and leave grandpa smelling unique (sometimes there’s a hint of fart in the background too).
8. They drive slowly: old people driving at “walking speed” are one of the main reasons for traffic congestion. It’s obnoxious and it pisses us off but come to think about it, this person driving has few worries to make him rush to where he has to be, in another words: Relaxation.
9. Lipstick stains: elderly women tend to think lipstick doesn’t stain. They squeeze till your ears pop; they choke you a little with their soft, wrinkly arms around your neck, and then give you a huge kiss on the cheek, staining your face with a giant, red lip shape. You love the emotion that comes with that kiss but you hate the stain, which is cool because the stain will come off but the emotion, you’ll carry forever.
10. They make the holidays worthwhile: whether your granny gives you hard candy, old gum that was stuck at the bottom of her purse, or $10 you simply cherish this gift because you can see in her eyes that she would give you everything she ever owned, only if she could.
Old people, as disrespected as they have become, are the reason why we’re who we are today. Old people, as cranky and needy as they may be, are the reason why you want to be better to impress them. Old people, are the foundation of the next generation, so don’t go taking advice from your besties while you have a treasure living next door. Remember, they’re old, they’re going to die soon, and you’ll miss every moment you wasted not telling them how much you cared about them! Go on, grab that phone and tell your grandparents how much you’re proud to have them.
1. What do you want for lunch today? ( at 8:00 A.M , I'm not really interested in "bamia" so my usual answer would be "anything's fine" which leaves her more confused , me relived and the question un-answered.)
2. Have you cleaned your room yet? (Are you serious? have I ever cleaned my room?)
3. Do you have anything white to wash? (Ironically, you usually don’t when she asks this question)
4. Do I have to do everything around the house? (I can't believe you forgot all about the cup of water I brought you 1 minute ago! see, not everything)
5. If you're not in the room, turn off the lights (what is this jail? I'm going right back in there!)
6. I used to be thinner than you (I guess we'll never know because I wasn’t there to see it and the pictures you had mysteriously got lost at grandmas house)
7. I used to be cool one day and an A student (bring out the grade cards missy!)
8. Back in the day we used to be 100% more stylish than you are now, what's this outfit you're wearing? (Seriously? with those flare pants I recommend you hide)
9. Don’t get me any gifts, I don’t need anything (who said gifts were stuff you needed, mum gifts are things you know you won't buy for yourself like perfume or roses)
10. Have we seen this movie (mmm YUP like twice!)……………….45 minutes later, OHHH I know this movie, I've seen it twice (no comment!)
11. Put the food back in the fridge when you're done (when I'M DONE? I didn’t have dinner!)
12. Clothes are made to be put in closets not on your bed (who came up with this rule? I can pull out any outfit off the bed!)
13. Who are you going out with and where are you going (if I say my friends names would you even know who they are and if I say Starbucks would you know it's for coffee?)
14. Did you remember to feed your helpless pet (what are you, his lawyer?)
15. She's your sister too you know (yeah, you taught me that when I was 2)
16. Stay for a while, we never get to see you (you see me all day, isn’t that enough)
17. Don’t be late; I get worried (you worry too much, nothings going to happen)
18. You always go out, stay at home today you need some rest (trying to trick me to stay a while again, huh?!)
19. Who are you going out with and where are you going? (I just told you that see there's no point in asking in the first place)
20. Who is calling me on my mobile? (you just said it , its YOUR mobile……After 10 minutes of long staring at the screen, she picks up and asks who the caller is, regardless what the caller ID just wrote across the screen.)
Although these tiny sentences tick us off but this is what makes them mothers and this is how we remember them. If you have any more "templates" you want to share, comment below.
WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MOTHERS BODY DURING CHILD BIRTH
There
are a lot of things that come about in the mothers body during
childbirth and a complete understanding of the sequence of events is
very important. Having a proper understanding of the sequence of events
would help in anticipating any problem that could come up during the
pregnancy period. The changes that come around in a woman can be divided
into the pre-natal, natal as well as the post-natal period. Following
is a description of the three stages:1. Pre-natal period- This is the stage wherein the fertilized ovum develops inside the womb of the mother and there is development and growth of the foetus. There are also changes that come about in the uterus and the cervix of the female in order to prepare these organs for delivery.
2. Natal period- This is the period wherein the child is born and most of the development has taken place in this period. Here the major changes that come about are the dilatation of the cervix, and the initiation of contractions for expulsion of the foetus.
3. Post-natal period- This is the period wherein the uterus is brought back to its normal state. The placenta and the membrane formed during pregnancy are expelled out by means of contractions following the birth of the child.
CHANGES DURING PREGNANCY
Before the baby is born the foetus passes the cervical membrane, the cervix itself as well as the uterine cavity and the canal. Whenever labor is initiated or induced then the widening as well as the opening of the cervix takes place. This widening of the cervix is very important as this is what allows the child to be passed out The changes taking place in the cervix go hand in hand with the contractions of the muscular tissues all of which act together to make the cervix softer as well as thinner than it normally is. Water break is commonly seen during the above mentioned events but there are situations in which this may take place at a very late stage of pregnancy.
There are also a large number of physical changes during the end months of pregnancy as the expecting mother would tend to tire out more easily than she would at any other time. The abdomen keeps increasing in size to accommodate for the growth and development taking place inside. The anatomical position of the uterus is also lowered as the baby starts moving towards the birth canal and there is an increase in the frequency of urination during this period.
There are a lot of situations in which the extremities of the mother appear to be swollen and as the baby reaches the final position before delivery there is a rise in the pressure felt in the cervical region. Once an increase in the pressure is seen there is a subsequent rise in the frequency as well as duration of contractions.
MOVEMENTS
The movements of the child also increase during the last few months of pregnancy and in some cases the child may even turn sideways. One needs to be careful regarding the movements and get periodic check-ups done to ensure that any movement does not result in any harm to the foetus.
CONTRACTIONS
The labor contractions are usually irregular at the onset and not very painful. As time goes on the contractions become increasingly painful and stronger in intensity. The duration for which the contractions last also increases as the pregnancy reaches a point where the child is to be born. Before the child can pass through the cervix and is born the cervix needs to attain a dilatation of at least 10 centimetres. When the cervix is undergoing the final few centimetres of dilatation then at that point of time the contractions are most intense and the mother would be in the maximum pain. The intensity of all of these events vary from one individual to another and also on factors such as the position of the child as well as the number of children the mother has given birth to earlier.
PUSHING PHASE
Once the cervix is completely dilated for the child to pass through the pushing phase is initiated and here the baby is pushed down the canal. At the onset of the contractions these movements are dilating in nature but as time passes these turn into expulsion movements. The baby usually comes out head first through the cervical region and in some instances the buttocks comes out first (Breech baby).
DELIVERY PHASE
As mentioned earlier the head of the baby is the first part to come out of the cervical region and for this the minimum cervical dilatation is very crucial. When the baby comes out the face is downwards and the shoulders are still inside which are actually at right angles to the head. So for the shoulders to be able to move out the baby needs to be turned a quarter and this movement is usually carried out by a doctor or a nurse. There are also instances where a forceps delivery may need to be done in case the baby appears to be stuck or the dilatation is not sufficient for the child to pass through the birth canal. Once the baby has come out and the heartbeat is not felt in the umbilical cord then it can be easily cut.
THE POST NATAL PROCESS
This process usually follows the birth of the child and now the placenta and the membranes need to come out so there is contraction of the uterine wall. This contraction leads to peeling away of the placenta from the uterus. The mother is asked to try and push again after the birth of the child so that the placenta is expelled via the cervix and this terminates the labor. Once the placenta and the membrane are expelled the uterine wall goes back how it was before the pregnancy.
[1] A parasitic relationship must be distinguished from the other two forms of symbiotic relationship[2]: mutualistic,[3] where both partners benefit, and commensal,[4] where one partner benefits, but the other partner is unaffected.
A parasitic relationship is a harmful relationship for the host. Therefore, it is important to identify it early on, so further damage can be forestalled.
In a healthy relationship, one should seek to give more and receive less, loving one another as oneself. It should be mutually loving, caring, respecting, and well-balanced. A parasitic relationship is an imbalance that must be identified and corrected promptly.
Identify the relationship In order to know whether you are in a parasitic relationship, you must first identify the relationship. Identify the person or living thing with whom you have a relationship.
Determine what benefits, if any, you have derived from this relationship For example:
Are you receiving love?
Are you getting/saving more money?
Are you living more healthily physically?
Are you finding food more easily?
Are you finding shelter more easily?
Are you able to go shopping more easily?
Are you able to perform daily routines more effectively?
Is your life more meaningful as a result of the relationship?
Determine what harms, if any, you have derived from this relationship For example:
Are you hurting emotionally?
Are you losing money?
Are you living more unhealthily physically?
Are you finding food more difficult to obtain?
Are you finding shelter more difficult to secure?
Are you having more difficulty shopping?
Are you finding your daily routines more difficult to perform?
Is your life less meaningful as a result of the relationship?
N.B.: this list is only an example, and may not apply to you. You must make your own list of things that are important to you.
Compare the two lists (benefits and harms you obtained from the relationship) to see whether overall you are benefiting or being harmed from the relationship For example, you can do this systematically as follows:
Assign a weight of how important each item is to you. For example, you can use a scale of 0-5, where 0 is not at all important, and 5 is extremely important. Assign a score to each item, rating the extent to which you have been affected. For example, you can use a score of 1-10, where 1 is minimally affected, and 10 is maximally affected.
Multiply the score you assign to each item by the weight you assigned for that item. For example, suppose shelter is more difficult for you as a result of the relationship, shelter should be an item on your list of harms. If shelter is very important to you, but not the most important, you could assign it a weight of 4. And if, because of the relationship, you are experiencing moderate difficulty with affording shelter, you could give it a score of 5, so multiply to get a score of 20 for that item.
Do this for each item on the list of benefits, then add up all the results. Do the same for the list of harms.Now compare the two composite scores, to see which score is bigger. If the list of benefits has a bigger score than the list of harms, you are benefiting from the relationship overall. If the list of harms has a bigger score than the list of benefits, you are being harmed by relationship overall.
Create a list of benefits and a list of harms derived from the relationship by your partner This is a more difficult step, as you may not be fully aware of all the benefits and harms derived by your partner, and the extent to which each benefit or harm is important. Just try your best to make up the lists, knowing that they are estimations at best.
Do the same analysis you did for yourself to see whether, overall, your partner is benefiting, or is being harmed, by the relationship.
Interpret the results, as follows:
If you are benefiting and your partner is benefiting, you are not in a parasitic relationship (you are in a mutualistic relationship).
If you are benefiting and your partner is being harmed, you are in a parasitic relationship (you are the parasite and your partner is the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is benefiting, you are in a parasitic relationship (your partner is the parasite and you are the host).
If you are being harmed and your partner is being harmed, you are not in a parasitic relationship (you are in a mutually destructive, or abusive, relationship).
Have a genuine, heart-to-heart conversation with your partner One of the most common causes of conflicts in relationships is misunderstanding. Perhaps you have misinterpreted the facts. Perhaps some things have eluded your thinking about the relationship. Perhaps your partner is well-intentioned, but made mistakes unaware.
If you are in a parasitic relationship, take action to correct this
After talking with your partner, resolve any misunderstanding, forgive, and discuss ways you can both improve the relationship, so that neither partner is harmed anymore.Seek counseling and support from others if needed.
If the relationship cannot be repaired, look for a way out respectfully and peacefully.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
The young instructor, who appeared ready to cry it out herself, had to break up the fight so she could start class.
Cry-it-out is a sleep training method that advocates letting your baby cry (or the more innocuous-sounding "self-soothe") for varying periods of time before offering comfort. The goal is to get your baby to learn how to fall asleep on her own, so you, too, can rest.
Central to it all is stress and sanity: the baby's, yours and that of everyone with earshot.
The method is the subject of intense debate, passionate opinions and conflicting research findings.
A few weeks ago, the journal Developmental Psychology published a study supporting the notion that a majority of infants over the age of 6 months may best be left to self-soothe and fall back to sleep on their own.
Noting that sleep deprivation can exacerbate maternal depression, Temple University researcher and professor Marsha Weinraub concluded: "Because the mothers in our study described infants with many awakenings per week as creating problems for themselves and other family members, parents might be encouraged to establish more nuanced and carefully targeted routines to help babies with self-soothing and to seek occasional respite."
There is broad agreement that parents' well-being is critical to infants' health and development. Weintraub suggested that the link between infant awakenings and maternal depression would benefit from further research.
Adequate sleep is, of course, key to parents' stress levels. Loss of sleep has been associated with a dramatically higher risk of depression in mothers and marital problems.
It is how well (or not) the baby fares in the cry-it-out scenario that muddies the waters.
On the pro sleep-training side, an Australian study published in September followed 326 children with parent-reported sleep problems at 7 months. Half the babies were placed in a sleep-training group and the other half in a control group that did not use sleep training.
Five years later, researchers followed up with the now-6-year-old participants and their parents.
The children in the two groups showed very little to no significant differences in terms of emotional health, behavior or sleep problems. Mothers' stress or depression levels were roughly the same, as were the parent-child bonds in both groups.
The researchers found no harm in permitting children to cry for limited periods of time while they learned to sleep on their own.
Directly contradicting this study is research conducted at the University of North Texas that was published in the Early Human Development journal last year. Observing 25 infants aged 4 to 10 months in a five-day inpatient sleep training program, researchers monitored levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the babies, who were left to cry themselves to sleep without being soothed.
The scientists measured how long the infants cried each night before they fell asleep. The mothers sat in the next room and listened to their children cry but were not permitted to go in and soothe their babies.
By the third night, the babies were crying for a shorter period of time and falling asleep faster. However, the cortisol levels measured in their saliva remained high, indicating that the infants were just as "stressed" as if they had remained crying. So while the infants' internal physiological distress levels had not changed, their outward displays of that stress were extinguished by sleep training.
In the mothers, on the other hand, the stress hormone levels fell as the babies appeared -- at least outwardly -- to settle down and sleep.
The study did not clarify whether the babies' stress levels lowered as their sleep patterns settle over time. The researchers are now studying this issue, among others, in a longer follow-up.
As with most things in life, when it comes to babies and the science of sleep, the only certainty is that there is no certainty. Those of us on the roller coaster of modern parenting are the first to attest to the fact that perfection simply does not exist, especially when you're bleary-eyed and sleep-deprived at 4:15 a.m., with a full workday looming.
Some researchers suggest that parents may gain clarity by working backward from a longer-term goal.
Darcia Narvaez, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, studies moral cognition and development. Her research examines how early life experience may influence brain development, moral functioning and character in children and adults.
Narvaez advocates a more responsive style of parenting that mirrors nurturing ancestral practices, including breastfeeding, frequent touch, soothing babies in distress, outdoor play and a wider community of caregivers.
According to Narvaez, research shows that responsive parenting can help develop infants' self-regulation and may influence conscience, impulse control, empathy, resilience and other character-related attributes.
Narvaez's list is strikingly similar to a set of character traits discussed by journalist Paul Tough in his book, "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character."
In the book, Tough examines the skills and traits that lead to success and ultimately advances the hypothesis that character attributes may be more crucial than cognitive skills like IQ and intelligence.
"(I)n the past decade, and especially in the past few years," writes Tough, "a disparate congregation of economists, educators, psychologists, and neuroscientists have begun to produce evidence that ... (w)hat matters most in a child's development ... is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years.
"What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit and self-confidence."
Can responsive parenting in a child's first year lay the groundwork for better regulation of social and behavioral responses and perhaps even greater life success? Seems like a heavy burden. And no one knows for sure -- not even the dueling Upper West Side mothers
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